Embrace Jealousy-It can be good for your soul

Jealousy. I'm not talking about being jealous of things. Like big screens and cars..
I'm talking about jealousy in your heart.

Why do so many people deny their feelings of jealousy? I know that I do. I look at it as a sign of insecurity and weakness, when in actuality, there is nothing wrong with being a little jealous. I even find it somewhat endearing.

I have had many jealous men. Unbearably jealous. Ridiculous jealous. On the flip side of that I have been with men that tell me that they aren't the "jealous type". This only holds true if they have nothing to be jealous about at that moment. But once something jealous-worthy happens, it's all over and these dudes act like fucking fools.

I have dated men that tell me that they aren't jealous. At all. Ever. Well, to me, if it's true, I think that tells me something about them. It tells me that they don't give a shit about me.

This is how I have come up with this theory:
I have noticed, is that when you first start dating someone, anything goes. If they wanna go out with friends..go! If they want to go out with another girl..go! If they have friends that are girls..good! They talk about their ex-girlfriends..so what!

But once you start catching feelings..all that shit gotta STOP!
With the quickness.

So, this brings me to the main reason this jealousy shit was even on my mind.
I am jealous that one of my men is going on a trip. I mean, we have no spoken anything. I just know he is Sexy as hell, and that he is gonna get himself into some shit. I was talking to him the other day about his trip, and he started talking about Miami, and how much fun he is gonna have. It took me a minute to realize what I was feeling. Six months ago, I would have genuinely not given a fuck..but while listening to him talk, my little heart was going thru some drama! I was not acting a fool, but my heart was talking to me, and saying that it didn't like what it was hearing.

But that's okay..I will get over it, but I'm glad that I feel some jealousy.
If that makes me weak--so be it. If that makes me insecure--so what.
I am embracing it.
It tells me that I care.
I think it's good for my soul.