I cried at work

I hate to cry.

My face gets all streaked, my make-up runs, and my eyes turn green. Yes, green--instead of people asking me "what's wrong?" they say.."why do your eyes look that way?"~ LOL~
I get tired, and just drained.

I don't cry often, because my feelings can't be ever hurt more than they have by baby daddy--nothing compares to that, and I guess I am sort of de-sensitized to emotional pain.
But let me get mad, or frustrated
--with no outlet for those emotions--
and the tears will start spilling.
I am a silent crier. A sniffle here or there--but that's about it.

So Friday, at work--I had enough.
Enough bullshit. Enough stress. Enough complaining. Enough hard work.

As I sat at my desk, my cheeks burned from the hot tears that fell--onto my desk and papers--and I couldn't make them stop.

There was no specific reason for this but there were many reasons.. It was embarrassing--and I was out of control. When they finally stopped, as soon as someone spoke to me, they started again..And again..I think I cried all damn day. It made my head pound more than it already was.

I was fine again--until--
Sexy man calls--"Everything alright?" he wants to know...

"Yeah--fine" my voice starts to crack. I can even talk to him...
"lemme call you back" I tell him.

I get myself together and call him back.
I could barely hear myself speak I was talking so quietly.

I told him that I was having a bad day and left it at that--I appreciate that he knows that I don't play them stupid ass games--that I really didn't want to talk about it. And I didn't. And he knew it.
So he let me be.

I can't do this crying thing ever again..It's just way too much drama.
Especially while I am at work.