Where did the love go? The Final Chapter

So as you can tell, this relationship was based on lies and deceit. From day one. It took me a long time to realize that I played a part in how things went down..for the longest time, I just wanted to blame him. I wanted everything to be his fault. He cheated. He lied. He started all our fights and problems. He called me a bitch. He ran the streets, instead of working on our issues.
And I allowed it.

Things were bad. But I loved him so much and I wanted things to work, so I allowed him to do whatever he wanted as long as he came back to me. Which he always did.
He wanted to be free. And eventually, I gave him exactly what he waited for the 6 long years we were together. When he finally got it, he didn't want it. He wanted no parts of being free. He wanted me, but I had finally got to the point, that no matter what he offered, I was not willing to take the risk. There was no payoff great enough to make me deal with this man another day. Sure, he got himself a new girlfriend, and gave her everything that I deserved. He treated her, like I should have been treated--he respected her. He gave her everything that should have been mine. It took me sometime to realize, that I had no reason to envy her. She was in a miserable situation, she just didn't know it yet. Soon enough, he would treat her the same way he treated me.
And he did.

I initially thought that writing this would make me remember how much I loved him, and perhaps I would not feel so much hatred and animosity towards him. I think, however, that it did the opposite. It just confirmed that he never really loved me--not ever the way that I needed to be loved. It confirmed that we had nothing special--I'm sure that he had the same exact thing with all the other women that he was runnin. It confirmed that he is a reckless individual that has no respect for me--and probably never will. It confirmed that I wasted 6 years of my life trying to make him happy--while allowing myself to be miserable.
It reminded me that the only good thing that came out of this relationship, was the boy--Who BTW will NEVER treat women this way--and I thank God for him.
And finally, it reminded me why I hate him so much, and why I can't find it in myself, not even in my heart to ever forgive him.

So where did the love go? Nowhere. It was never there.