Nameless and Faceless

I held my breath as I typed in her last name, then her first.
My heart pounded. I was up to no good and probably bout to get my feelings hurt.

I don't know, exactly what was looking for..but I was afraid of what I might find.

The matching names came up on the screen. There were so many!
Which one was her?
My heart still pounding, and my stomach started to hurt.

Why was I doing this again?

I scrolled down thru the names, and before I knew it, I was nodding my head.
Yes..I think that might be her?!? Ummm. maybe not. I don't really know.

What was I going to do with this information?

Exactly.
Nothing.

I let out a breath and clicked the 'X' at the top of the screen.
This was craziness, and I really wanted no parts of it.

I still don't understand what compels females to go looking for shit.
It's hard to know what to do with information that you have no business trying to gather in the first place.

I was not going to call her or send her a letter! I was not going to her house.
She is his EX girlfriend. The operative word being EX. And there is nothing that I need to know about her. I prefer that all 'EX's' remain nameless and faceless..but that is not always the case.

There is nothing that I am going to find that will make me feel better about anything.
I am certain, I will only feel worse. I am certain of it, so the self-torture is over.

I will not ever type this girls name again.
I don't (and shouldn't) care to know anything about her.

The computer will never tell me how much he loved her and if he still thinks about her.
I guess that's a good thing.
Right?