The Color of My Baby's Skin

Inspired by a comment on one of my favorite blogs. I knew ya'all would come..I just knew it!

I am trying to think back and remember the last time someone said something sideways to my face about my son. This is one way to make me act a complete fucking fool. Especially when it is racially motivated. It doesn't happen often, but it has happened.

Background: My son is 9. He is in 4th grade. He has a sense of humor like his momma. He is funny as hell, and he will come out the mouth with some crack-up shit. He also is very sensitive. He is just as adorable as he could be. Looks like a lighter version of his dad. His dad: Black. Me: White.

His father and I are not together. That's another story.

I hate to define anyone by the color of their skin. That is just not me. So, why do people of all races have to hate on my choices. I know this is going to get some people in a fucking uproar. Why do people judge so harshly..I am sure that there are many answers to this. From many perspectives.


Last winter, my son and I go to the grocery store. We are coming in the store, and it's cold outside. Not snowing, but cold. My son left his coat in the car. It was not a big deal.

Older white lady to her friend: "That child doesn't have a coat on..is THAT his mother??"
her white Friend: "that's how THEY are"

Just who the fuck is "they" ?? I swear to god, I almost went the fuck off. Sometimes I have to refrain from acting an ass in front of my son,...this clearly was one of those times. I knew this was going to turn into a racial thing. It was inevitable. So, I just went about my business. Grrrrrr.


Maybe I am not aware some things that I need to be aware of being a white mother raising a bi-racial child in a cruel world. While reading one of my favorite blogs, someone commented that white mothers tend to teach their mixed children that they are something "other than black".

That got me thinking...

Do I need to teach my son that he is black? Is that my responsibility as a white mother? Is he that different that it needs to be pointed out? Why do people think that it's impossible for a white mother to PROPERLY raise a bi-racial child? Yes, there are some obstacles. But for the people that don't know me..you just don't know. For someone to judge my parenting skills because I am white and my son is not...oh, you just don't know. You really don't. You don't know where I have been, and what I have been through and how I live my life. Trust me. You have no idea.

So for all you haters out there..peep this: I am not raising him to be white or black. HEAR ME: I AM NOT DOIN' IT!! I am raising him to be honest, caring, polite, and a good person. I am teaching him right from wrong. I am teaching him that life is not always fair. People are not always nice. There is good and bad in everyone. There are assholes out there. You can't change people. There are bitches and ho's out there. Watch out for them. People will use you if they can. That some people lie, cheat, and steal.

All of these things are out there..no matter if you are white or black. Period.

So..for anyone who feels the need to question my choices...as a parent and as a person...
Get the fuck over yourself.
Please.