Just another Black Sheep

I have always thought I was the "black sheep" of the family. I figured this out for sure when I was in High School. I was always doing something to get myself into trouble. Trouble was fun, back then..it was always about breaking rules and seeing what you could get away with. It was about seeing just how far you could go, and how many people you could piss off along the way. With me, I always stopped just short, of really going over the edge.

After High School, I remained the "black sheep" Staying out all night, lying about where I was, and who I was with, and right about that time, I converged on the streets of DC, only to become an even worse human being than I was before. I was terrible. There wasn't much I wouldn't do for a thrill. I would get rolled up on by the police and talk to them like they were a piece of shit. I would cuss and carry on, and act like a complete fool. I don't know what they thought, and honestly, I didn't care.

My parents were "done" with me. My brother had few words for me, but I always knew if I got into some real trouble, that he would come do what he had to do to make things right. I wasn't treated badly by my family, but whenever I did something gossip worthy, (which was often) I knew all the whispers were about me.

My boyfriends were thugs. My friends were thugs. I think I was one too. (LOL!) It's actually a scary thought now, to think of the people that I hung with, they were dangerous. They all used drugs, they all drank, they all committed crimes, but they loved the hell out of me! I was their 'baby girl" I guess in a way, that was my street name? LOL!

That was so long ago. I have changed so many things in my life since then.. my thought process has changed, (but it still defaults to "thug"..I can't help it!)
I have a completely different perspective on things. Life has been good since
I gave up the lifestyle of street thug.

I still have my moments. I still have a little ghetto in me, that is something that will never go away. That is part of my personality, it is tucked away, and only surfaces once in a while, but I am glad that I have that ace in the hole. It shocks people. But they know that shit is no joke.

You would think that after all this time, the "black sheep" label would be gone. Just because I don't live a life that everyone approves of, that doesn't make me a bad person.

I still may be the "black sheep" of the family, but I don't care.
I look good in black.