Sending my baby off with a STRANGER!

I have been going thru a lot of baby daddy drama lately. He has been threatening to take me to court for joint-custody. I think after our last conversation, this might be exactly what he does. **It seems that he got served with his child support papers, and is really not happy about it. I think the words he used were "heartless bitch". Oh, well.**
He has threatened this before, and it got me really upset. I don't know if he would ever get joint custody, but just the thought of me having to fight to keep my child, scares me.

I wish I could make others see how horrible this situation would be, as many of my friends think it would be good for the boy to see his dad on a regular basis, even to live with him part time. The boy is about to be 10, and I guess there are some that think that he should start spending more time with his father, it will give me free time, and time to myself, blah, blah, blah. I disagree.

I mean, sure..I would love some free time, to catch up on reading, laundry, cleaning..have overnight guests that are not kicked out at 6 am, before the boy wakes up, so he won't see them creeping out of his house. I would love to live the single life 2 weekends out of the month! I would love to be able to sleep in, 2 weeks out of the month. because I don't have to get the boy up and get him in the shower, and follow his every move in the morning to make sure he's getting ready, and make him breakfast..but ya know what?
I would rather do this than send my child with a irresponsible, reckless stranger.
That's right. I look at my baby daddy just like any other stranger on the street.

The boy barely knows his father. I mean, he knows who he is, but he is afraid that his father will not bring him back home. In fact, he has a "plan" that will go into effect, should he get the feeling that his father is not going to bring him back. He even advised me that if he is not brought back in a timely manner, I am to call the police! Why in the hell should a 10 year old child have these worries? Especially about one of his parents! He is afraid of his father, and rightfully so. Aren't we all afraid of strangers, to a certain extent? He has no idea what makes his father tick. He has no bond, and no trust. He doesn't say much, because he doesn't know what pisses his father off. He will not disagree with him, or speak his mind. He is not free when he is with him. He is not himself. His spirit is gone.
So...
Imagine, having to turn over your child, to the person that you hate most in this world.
Imagine, having to send your child with a person that hates you, and knows this is the only thing that he can do that will affect you.
Imagine, having a complete dread, everytime that you send your child with this person, because you know that he is not responsible.
Imagine, having to send your child with a person, that you have no idea where they live~ if something happened, I would have no idea where to even start. Oh, hell no.
Imagine, wondering for 6 or 8 hours, if your baby daddy is where is says he is with your child, or he is 6 or 8 hours closer to Canada or Mexico.
Imagine, having to wonder if your child is safe, or is at the hospital, or if baby daddy is watching him, or sleeping. Or whatever.
Imagine, sending your child with a stranger.

Imagine having to decide if your baby daddy loves your child more than he hates you. ~~Because that ultimately dictates how your child will be treated by him.~~

I have been thru all this, trying to do the right thing. Going against my gut, and my "mother" instincts. But not anymore, and never again.
Just watch and see.