Brenda (PORN) Starr Slickbooty

I have discovered something about myself. It's embarrassing. In fact, I don't know if I am ready to share this. But heregoes.

I am a porn star. Yep. I said it. You heard me correctly. PORN. STAR.
*hanging head in shame*

So, here is how this shit went down:
Hanging out with sexy man. ok. lemme back up just a bit. I (in my infinite wisdom) think it would be fun to have sexy man take some pictures. of me. doing nasty things.
So. I am hanging out with sexy man, for this purpose. And we do the damn thing.

A few days later, I call sexy man, and I say..how did the pictures turn out? He says..he hasn't looked at them yet...somethin about..no need to..just like a squirrel, saving his nuts.. I dunno
Whatever.
So, I talk to sexy man again, and I ask about the pictures..and he is like..yeah, I got some stuff to show you, and I say okay..so we meet up, and he (I thought) was scrolling thru the pictures to show me..and guess what...it's not pictures. It's a fucking movie. A fucking movie.
It's PORN.

This girl was not ready for that. And I tell him. He laughs.
So, ..I get myself together and say..okay..lemme see. So, I am watching this movie. Of me. And I hear noises. I discover they are coming from the camera.
The fucking camera has sound ya'all.

I look (and sound) just like a porn bitch.
And I tell him.
He laughs.
I ask for a re-take.
And ever-so-compliant-sexy-man agrees.

So, I decided to give myself a porn name. Brenda Starr Slickbooty.
Yep.
That's me.
I guess we need one for my co-star.
Lemme think about that one.