I know the truth..finally

"Hello?" I say. I don't know what made me answer that way, I knew damn well who was on the other end of the phone.

"I need to see you, Brenda" the voice says. "I will be over that way in a few hours.." "I'll call you when I get in your neighborhood."

"Okay" was all that I could say. I hung up the phone. And I had to re-group. It has been a while. Not a long while, but a while as far as "us" is concerned. We have not had much interaction lately, due to circumstances. Things between us have been strange. Conversations uncomfortable. Never wanting to say too much, or give the wrong appearance to anyone that may be watching. So I started wondering if this was worth it. Should I let this happen? Or should I let this go. I have been trying to heal the unintentional wounds caused by this man.

As superficial as they are, they still hurt.


I have been trying to not let him consume my thoughts. I have been trying to do what's right for me. I can't tell which is more confused, my heart or my head. I can't tell where one begins and the other ends. I have been trying to convince myself that he doesn't care about me. That this is over, and he is happy about it.

Things were made very clear when he walked through the door. Everything that I have always felt about him was confirmed. We had a good time. I think it was a much needed break from our daily grind. I think he enjoyed hanging out with me again. On our own terms.

The affection flowed freely.
I fell asleep entangled in his body. His fingers interlocked with mine. His arms wrapped around me. I felt his lips brush against my face, as he planted a kiss on my cheek. I could feel his breath on my neck. I look up at him. He is watching me. We say nothing. I can see the love for me in his eyes. All my questions are finally answered. With that one look.
He pulls me closer.

A little while later, he says he needs to get home. I don't want him to leave, but I know he has to. As he gives me one final hug and kiss before leaving, I think to myself...

Damn. I love him.