Unanswered Booty Call

I am so fucking pissed. pissed.

I am sleeping. Me and the boy. I hear someone knocking at the door.
A dude. I can just tell. What the fuck? I look at the clock. 4:49 am. four-mother-fucking-forty-nine-A-fucking-M. I am in a sleep-induced daze tryna figure out why anyone is knocking on my door. I get up to go check it out, wondering which of these fucking idiot men in my life has lost their mind.

I look out the peep hole. Standing there, lookin' all stupid..this dude Mike. yep, that's his real name. He is a (good) friend of my (good) friend Marvin. He also knows "the other one" and some of my girlfriends. I however, do NOT know him that well. I know nothing personal about him..I don't even know his last name or what city he lives in.

**He went out with us this past Thursday. He thinks he's the shit. He thinks we all think it, too. He is one of those men that thinks he can pull any chick he wants. He's not even that good-looking. I didn't act interested, because I wasn't. Nor did he act interested. We made small talk. That's it. I think we maybe talked for 2 minutes. This is the most I have probably ever talked to him since we met last summer, when he picked Marvin up outside of my apartment, Marvin and I were out on my patio talking and he told Mike to come around to get him...I have seen him 5--maybe 6 times since then**

I definitely don't know him well enough to make him think he could knock on my fucking door at damn-near 5 am.

So, I open the door. I look at him--I am still half-asleep.

"What's up?" I say..somewhat irritated.

"Is anyone here?" he asks.

"No...what's up?" I ask again....I was waiting for him to ask if he could crash on my couch. I thought he just needed a place to sleep. I just assumed he was coming in from the club, or hanging out with the fellas.
I had no idea how wrong I was.

"Can a brotha get a little bit?" he asked me.

"What? Are you fucking kidding me?...you should KNOW I don't roll like that" I say

"Can I come in" now he sounds irritated.

"Ummmm. for a minute, I guess" - I say it more like a question than an answer- as I open the door wide enough for him to get past. As he is passing by me he says:

"Awww, come'on..let a brotha get some of that, it'll just be between me and you."

following behind him I say.."Come'on man..you should know better...naw, it ain't even like that." and I think what a mistake it was to let this idiot in. He walks into my living room. and stands there. like an idiot.

He explains how he was out with the fellas. drinking. drunk.
(And WHAT, just thought it would be cool to knock on my door at 5 am to get sexed?)

So he moves closer to me, almost like he wanted to touch me. He reached out to pull me close to him. It scared me a little. Made me uncomfortable. I moved back. This dude is like 6'3--245--and big hands. Big--like --these hands were made for slappin' a bitch-- big.

I started thinking bad shit. A million bad thoughts a minute.
I started thinking I am gonna have to go get my shit, and lay this brotha down, right here on my living room floor. I am gonna have to blaze his ass...shoot this motherfucker. right here.
I pictured him choking a bitch. and I pictured him try to take the ass, because clearly, he has already figured out that he ain't pullin this hair, and smackin' this booty. Not tonight. And. I pictured me shooting this bitch. and his ass lying dead.
on. my. floor.

So, I sit on the couch. And he sits, too.

And he says.."you sure were talking a lot of shit"

"when was that? I wondered...

"the other night. at the bar" he said. almost like he was accusing me of something.

Huh? What? I shook my head.."it ain't even like that".....I looked at him.."you gotta go, man..I'm going back to bed..."

He stands up. He moves over in front of me. He starts to un-buckle his belt. I am like omigod. here we go. I will admit, I was scared. I was thinking, this bastard is gonna try to take this ass, right here on my couch. I started thinking bad shit again.
My heart was pounding. I was thinking that I am really gonna have to shoot this mothafucker.

"Can a brotha atleast get a little taste?"

W-w-w wwhut? At this point, I am fucking done. I WANTED to say... Damn, motherfucker,
it's disrespectful enough to think that you can just randomly come over and fuck me.
But if you actually think that you can come over uninvited and unannounced to put your nasty-who-knows-where-the-fuck-it's-been-dick in my mouth--even for a second-- and I don't even fucking know you..?? You have really lost your mind. Now get the fuck out!
But what actually came out of my mouth was..."Naw man..no. you gotta go--it ain't even gonna go down like that..."

"Awww. come'on, ...." he starts to say...
I interrupt him. "I am going back to bed" I say with much attitude.
I gotta let this idiot know that I am not fuckin playin wit his ass. I would hate to be forced to shoot this bitch dead.

"aww..come'on, can I come to bed, too?" still asking me shit.

"no. no. no. no. no." I say as I am shaking my head no.

"a'ight then..You ain't mad, are you?"

"nah. I'm not mad"

So this motherfucker leaves. I shut and lock the door behind him. I go back to bed.

I wake up this morning, and I am pissed. How do you do that? How do you knock on a person's door, that you barely know and want (expect) some booty? How does that work? How does one ever get enough balls to carry shit that way? **shaking my head** I just don't get it.

I'm not sure what made this asshole think he could just roll up on me like that. There is nothing that I did or said to this man (ever!) to make him think this was okay.
Knockin' on my door not knowing who the fuck was at the crib. Not even caring. This idiot could have potentially started some shit that he wasn't ready for. If "the other one" was staying over, it woulda been on. "the other one" would have acted a fool. "the other one" don't play.

Clearly, he needs to told, that shit is not cool. Wait'll I see his ass again. I'll tell him.
I might even tell him how close his ass was to leaving in a body bag.