Mommy of the year? ~LOL~

I was just reading this post and I just HAVE to tell this story. I think everyone has their "mommy of the year" story!

When the boy was about 3 years old, we were out in our courtyard. I was sitting on the picnic table talking to some neighbors, and he was playing with a ball. It was like one of those school kickballs. He and a few other kids his age were kicking the ball around and somehow it ended up in a bush.
A big bush.

He ran over to me and asked me if I could get the ball. It was stuck on some branches.
I walked over to the bush and realized that I couldn’t reach the ball, so I pulled on the branches to make the ball come loose. All of the sudden, I was looking straight into a pair of black beady eyes. Holy Shit! It was a bird. And I am afraid of birds. I hate them. And it started to come straight for me.

I turned around to get the hell outta there. The boy and 2 of his little friends were standing right behind me! I knocked them ALL over. But I kept on going. The boy had his hand reached out, yelling..”MOMMY!!!??!!” He was terrified.

“Get up!” I said, not wanting to go back near the bush.
“Come on..come over here!” I said, waving for him to come.

He just laid on the ground and cried. Finally, when I got my sense about me, I walked over and picked him up. I felt like a piece of shit.
Who the hell does that?
Who the hell leaves their child?
I guess me.

This was 7 years ago, and I still remember it to this day. I even remember what the boy was wearing. He, of course, has no recollection of this event. But still. I think if he did, he would have forgiven me. Although, he still brings up the time, the only time, that any form of me telling him to shut up has ever come out of my mouth.
He didn’t understand the context of it, and it really hurt his feelings.
I still apologize to him when he brings it up.
I was frustrated with something that had nothing to do with him,
and he wouldn't stop asking me questions. Afterward, I felt horrible.

Sometimes we make bad decisions. That’s all part of being a parent.
We live, we learn, and we'll never be perfect.
Never.

Summer is in the air?

This is the first big Holiday of the summer..I mean, summer ain't even here and people are already acting a fool!

I had a cookout planned with the girls in my neighborhood. We are all single mothers and we cookout a lot in the summer. Sometimes they are planned and sometimes they are just thrown together.
This one was planned.
Because none of us are rich, everyone is asked to bring something.
We all struggle with money, but we always manage to bring it together.


We were supposed to meet outside at the pool at 2 pm.
I operate on my own schedule. Always.
I was not ready to go out on time, because I was cooking. And waiting on other people to bring me their stuff to cook. These females. I swear.
Everyone else just buys stuff from the store. I can’t do it. I like to cook and I can’t stand store bought anything.

So, I when I get to the pool, I was not really surprised that there were a lot of other residence there. I mean..hello?...I know this is a Holiday weekend. The pool rules are that unless you are 15 years or older, you must be at the pool with a parent. Of course, this was not enforced.
And almost every child there, was not with an adult. It pisses me off, because if I were ever to send the boy to the pool by himself, it would immediately be a problem. The boy..well, he just don’t blend well for some reason. His presence is always detected.

Anyway...I walk down to the pool because I had so much stuff I had to make several trips, and the scene there was crazy! EVERY DAMN KID at the pool was at our food table just grubbin on chips, sodas, fruit, just grabbing whatever their grubby little hands could grab, just as fast as they could. There was maybe 1 parent in the pool area. I had no idea who she was.
She was talking to a resident that I know for sure does not have children.

I was like..What the hell?
“Ummm..excuse me honey” I said to this little girl, (I later found out that she was 8 years old..) she had just picked up a plate, and I had never seen her before in my life.
“This is not a community cookout, sweetheart, I’m sorry.”
She looked at me like she wanted to stab me!

She rolled her little eyes and was about to grab a slice of watermelon off the table.

“I’m serious..this is not a community cookout.” Two more kids that I had never seen walked up to get a plate off the table. “You guys! This is not a COMMUNITY PICNIC!
We are not feeding the entire neighborhood…I’m sorry..”

Next thing I know..this lady starts yelling from the other side of the pool.
“WHICH ONE OF YA’ALL SAID SOMETHING TO MY DAUGHTER???”

Ummm. That would be me.
But before I could answer, she yelled even louder.
“WHICH ONE OF YA’ALL SAID SOMETHING TO MY DAUGHTER???”

“I did.” I said.

“WELL..WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER??” she demanded.

“The same thing that I told all the other kids..that this is not a community party.”

She was sitting on one of the pool chairs. She never got up and came over to where we were all standing, she just started wagging her finger at me while she yelled.

“Let me tell you something, right now. Don’t you speak to my daughter. You made her cry. If you have an issue with my child, then you need to speak to me. Don’t you EVER talk to my daughter. Are we clear?”

I was immediately heated. AND..of all the other mothers there, she was talking shit to the wrong one.

“NO, we are NOT CLEAR.” I said. “Why would YOU allow your DAUGHTER to even come over here?"
We were in the cut. Out of everyone’s way. In our own little area.

She said “If you EVER talk to my daughter again, then we are going to have a problem!”

“Looks like we already have a problem!?” I said.
“I told your daughter that this is not a community party, which is something that YOU should have told her, instead of allowing her to come over here and grub on a strangers food.”

She had nothing else to say, and really, neither did I.
I was done with it. I just don't understand why she got so pissed off. I was not yelling at her child. I was not mean. I did not tell her a million times. I spoke to her with respect, as I would expect someone to speak to the boy. Except the boy would never do some shit like that. She and her momma were busted. ~LOL~

None of us have ever seen this child before. None of our kids play with her. I have never seen her mother, and I have no idea where they live. How as a parent, do you allow your child to just bust all in the middle of someone’s cookout, to which, clearly, you were not a part of? And then how do you justify it by acting like a fucking ass?

The fact that I can not afford to feed the entire neighborhood is beside the point.
The point being, that if you want something..ask. Don't assume that you can just do what you want and then justify it with smoke and mirrors. It's not that damn serious.

My girlfriends all joked that "you can't take her nowhere!!"
Well, if standing up for yourself means that you can't take me nowhere..then fuck it..I guess they're right.
Next time I will stay the hell home, and ya'all can eat McDonalds at your damn cookout.
Since none of ya'all know how to work the grill ...~LOL~

Man, it’s gonna be a long summer.

Prison Life?

I had the craziest job interview yesterday. A few days ago, I received a call from a company that provides medical services to inmates at the state prison. These facilities are pretty close to my house, and from what the chick told me, there are 12 different inmate units, of all different levels on one campus. This is where my interview would be.

We discussed the hours, pay, and my potential fear of inmates (which I have none!) and she decided I would be a good candidate for this job. We decided on a date and time, and she advised me that I would need to bring my drivers license to gain access to the prison grounds.

Some of my girlfriends had jokes. They figured that if I got the job, I could find a husband with the quickness, or at the very least, get some sex! ~Rolls eyes~
Sexy man…well, he seemed indifferent to the idea of me working at a prison.
He’s just like that. As always, he wished me the best of luck on my interview.

My first thought was that I had no idea where my license was. I had not seen it in a minute so I did a quick search and determined that my license was in fact, lost.
No problem, I will just go get a new one, which I did the next morning. I swear, I don’t even think I had the damn license for 2 hours before I couldn’t find it.

Marvin came by and helped me search the car..in all the nooks and crannys, but neither one of us could find it. “It’s a sign, Marv” I told him.
“I shouldn’t go! Maybe something bad is going to happen and this is someone’s way of telling me.... DON’T GO TO THE PRISON!”

We both laughed. But I was serious. I believe in all that shit…karma, energy’s, and of course, love spells and rituals. I felt like this was just an energy force sending me a message telling me that this won’t end well. Just stay the hell home. Which I didn’t.

I get to the prison, and get checked in. I ended up taking my passport, which was acceptable to the guard that let me in. I went to the contractor’s facility and was greeted by a girl that had just started working there. She gave me some papers and directed me to fill them out. After I was done with this, the waiting game began.

I read a magazine from cover to cover. I read all about the show “Prison Break” and wished I had put that in my line-up of the few shows that I watch faithfully. I periodically checked the clock on the wall, and was getting more and more frustrated and irritated. It was already 11:45. My appointment was at 11.

About 15 minutes later, I was expecting to see a camera crew pop out of somewhere and congratulate me on being patient, and give me some money, and tell me this was all a joke. I know MTV used to have a show called Boiling Point where they tried to piss off other people and then paid them when they didn’t blow a fucking gasket!

When the man finally got to the facility for the interview, I was done. I was irritated. He immediately came off to me as an arrogant dirty old white man. I probably said some things that were interview inappropriate. I didn’t even care. For real.

He proceeded to tell me that I was over qualified, and that the pay was not in my range, despite what I was told over the phone when I spoke with the recruiter.

One of the questions that he asked me was “How would you feel about inmates hooting and hollering at you?”
Excuse Me? Is that a trick question? What do you say to that? I just looked at him, and then looked at my watch that I wasn’t wearing.
“Ok, then” I said as I started to get up. As far as I was concerned, this interview was over, and I was not getting this job. Nor was I going to continue with this grueling interview.

He sort of called after me, but I opened the door and walked out. I am no longer settling for some piece of shit job, working for a bunch of assholes. I have options.

I met my sexy man for lunch after the interview. We cracked up about how it went.
I don't think he is looking forward for me to find a job anytime soon.
He suggested that I shoot for September 1.
I have become his personal secretary, and we jokingly call it “freelancing”
..we meet for lunch almost every day, and we both enjoy it.

But all good things must come to an end. I got a job offer when I got home after lunch.
I will not be living prison life, ~LOL~ but will be working for a worldwide corporation.
This is actually a great place to work, with a good reputation and the perks are off the hook.
I think this one will be it. It’s a corporate environment, which I crave. It seems like all the things that I want in a job, and the pay is good. As with everything, only time will tell. I don’t really feel bad that I have had 2 very short jobs in the last 3 months. One lasted 1 day ~LOL~ and the other exactly one week. Jobs are like men. Sometimes they just aren’t what you are looking for, and I refuse to be stuck in a situation. I want to do what I am good at. I want to be happy. I sent sexy man an email after I accepted the job.
It said: “I don't wanna work! I wanna stay in bed late, and cook and iron clothes! And do what I want!”

But we all know this is not feasible. I am a single mother, and I need to work. I need to not be a statistic. I need the structure of a job. I am ready to get back into the swing of things. I hope this works out, but if it doesn’t. that’s okay too.

Forced to take Responsibility

I was sitting in the court room waiting for him.
~Damn~
His ass is always late. For everything. If he even shows up.
It's disrespectful and annoying.

Court started at 1:00. It was already 1:45.

When baby daddy walked in the door, I was shocked. He looked like a
fucking bum. This man, who normally looks like Morris Chestnut stepping
off the pages GQ looked like he was a homeless crack whore.
He's a trip. His normally pressed pants were replaced with navy blue sweatpants,
with bleach stains all over the front of them.
His Hilfiger, or Ralph Lauren..well, that was a dirty white T-shirt
and Old Navy hood zip sweat jacket.
He did not shave. He looked..nasty.
I was embarrassed to have to admit to the court that I had, in fact, made a baby
with this dirty man. ~LOL~

I scooted over so that he could sit next to me. There were probably 4 other people
in the court room. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked louder than I
expected. I knew I was loud because the people in front of me turned around
And looked. He just laughed. "I ain't got no money!" he said with a smirk.

I just shook my head at him. That brutha is ALWAYS tryna get over.
ALWAYS. I told him.."Ya know..KARMA is a bitch!"
"What is THAT?" he questioned
"Don't worry..you'll find out.." was all I said.
I scooted over, because I did not want to be next to him
Anymore. I have nothing to say to him right now. He scooted closer to me.

"Let's make an agreement for support..just me and you..fuck this court shit!"
he said. I gave him the look as if to say "unbelievable!"
He was acting like we were Bonnie and Clyde again, and it was US against THEM.
But it wasn't.
It was ME against HIM and he was about to get screwed.
And we both knew it.

When all was said and done..baby daddy has to come out the pocket..BIG!
But the amount of money don't mean SHIT to me. I would have been satisfied
With $50.00 per month. I am not looking to get rich.
I am only looking for consistancy.

I am not that baby mama and I never will be.
But the boy is now 10 years old. And it's time for his father to
take responsibility.
Even if he had to be forced.

Drinking on my Birthday...

I remember Marvin bringing me another shot.
He handed it to me and smiled.


"Gotta do it RIGHT!" he said. We both laughed. It was my birthday, and I was all about
getting drunk. We had about a 3 hour time span in which to drink. I wanted to get home to
meet my sexy man, and the boy needed to be put to bed.

I drank my shot, and decided to see where sexy man was.
He answered the phone.
"HIIIIIIII" I yelled..trying to hear myself over the blaring music.
"Where are you?..."
I must have been drunk. Because before he answered me, he asked me how
I was getting home.
My girlfriend had driven, so I was straight, and I told him that.
He relaxed a bit. He hates drunks...~LOL~

"I'm about an hour out.." he said.
"Yeah, I am leaving soon.." I told him.

About a half-hour later, I was walking in my door.
I was laughing. The boy was asleep. I tried to be quiet.
I paid the sitter, and she left.
"Damn, it's hot in here.." I said to myself.

I walked over to turn the air on, and the next thing I knew, I was on my back.
My hair was caught up in the fan that was on the floor.
The boy woke up and asked me to PLEASE BE QUIET!!! ~LOL~
Thank god that it wasn't on! I got up and laid across my bed.
And drunk dialed my mother.

She wanted to know if I was going to be sick.
"Nope" I told her.."I don't think so.."
We talked for all of 3 minutes when I told her that I had to go.
I felt like I was going to be sick. I went into the bathroom and stripped nekked.
The bar was giving out glow necklaces and bracelets, and I made some charms out
of the bracelets and attached them to the necklace. I was a glow mess.
I couldn't quite figure out how to get the necklace off..so I got down on my knees
and hung over the toilet. I felt horrible and just wanted to get this over with.

I heard my cell phone ringing, and it was sexy man. I went to get the phone, and
by the time I got there, he had hung up. I brought the phone back into the bathroom
and set it on the floor.

And started yakking.

About 2 minutes later, I heard him come in the door..

All the lights were out in the house. He walked into my room, and came to the bathroom door.
He laughed. There I was, hanging over the toilet, wearing only glow necklaces.
I was done being sick, so I crawled to my bed. I told him to call my mom, to let her know
that I was still alive, and he did.
He told her that I was on my hands and knees, and that I would be okay, that he was
staying the night and would make sure that I didn't choke on my puke. (which apparently is
something that she was concerned with?!? ~LOL~)

The next morning, sexy man asked me where the headache medicine was.
I was shocked that he had a headache..

He advised me that he didn't have a headache at all..but was certain that I did.
And damn, he was right.

I just love him. And no more drinking until the Holidays!